a year ago ...

Today (3/12) was the day that I went back to work at the office fulltime last year – and the evening that Mom had the cardiac event that triggered the beginning of the end. At least that was the final drop on the roller coaster ride we had been on for months. We had once again crept our way up to the top with the success of her being to a point she could be left for a few hours at a time and, with home health care coming in, I could return to the office. Then we took that last big dip that evening. From there, it was simply riding the rails to the end of the line.

I will always be so thankful for the very peaceful way in which she left me. I can still see her, the peaceful look on her face, and her intent gaze up, through the ceiling in the corner of her room, and beyond to something I could not see.

I was told a few months ago that the Jewish tradition is that you are given a year to grieve, because it takes that long. That has proven to be accurate. Moving to a new place has also helped. It was probably much more of God’s grace than I realized to get me moved within that year. (Remember, “my” plan was to move this coming spring or summer.)

Once I finish unpacking (which I AM going to do – though it is taking longer than anticipated!), I will post pictures. You will see why my friends catch me referring to “Mom’s room” instead of “the guest room.” Besides having the furniture I bought for her for her 80th birthday, it also has some of “her” things – and will have more when I finally get them unpacked – sitting on the dresser & chests in there.

I purposefully bought new bed linens, to make the room look different – and it does. But I also put the bedspread she crocheted me YEARS ago and which I have never used (because we always “save” those things for some reason) over the bed as a coverlet. (It’s a full size bedspread and the bed is queen.) Everyone here is amazed with how detailed and intricate it is and what a beautiful job she did. Those who knew her “back when” she did those things would expect nothing less. :-) I also have one that she made for Arthur on my king-size bed. His, of course, was not as frilly and was bound on all four sides (instead of having fringe on three). So, I turned it “size-ways” and it hangs over the sides & foot a few inches and comes far enough up the bed to be under the edge of all those pillows I pile up there every day. I enjoy having it and thinking of all the love she put in both of those and all the other things she made over the years. I still have some afghans and some quilts as well.

This Friday evening / Saturday morning (3/15) will be the anniversary of that last night. I will be in Arkansas City attending (and helping with) a conference down there. (It’s about 70 miles.) Again, I didn’t plan it that way … but I think God orchestrated the dates to keep my focus on something else. He has been so Faithful to me. But, then, He always is!